Thursday, June 6, 2013

the big girl arm

Last night my oldest babe walked into our bedroom around 1:00 in the morning. Luckily I was having a sleepless night and the entrance of another awake human was a welcomed sight. My girl said she was coughing too much in her bed and then as if on autopilot she climbed into bed next to me. I pulled her close because I was glad for her companionship. I rubbed her arm, wanting her to know I was there and cared. I always find my emotions peak in the nighttime and I could hardly contain how big my heart was feeling for her as she laid there all cozy and warm. As I rubbed her arm I had to catch my breath. Her arm felt so big. I expected to feel the chubbiness of a little arm, the bones of a little arm, but instead it felt like I was rubbing my own arm...far too big to be on my baby girl. How could this be? How could her arm be so big when she was just so... little. But the truth is she's not so little she is in fact so big. She is growing and being shaped and in that dark moment of the early morning I wanted to wrap her up and let her know I would always make time to have these moments with her. I always want her to feel save, loved, known and understood. I can get all anxious when I think about the future and how moments, like last night, will soon be a story I tell to my babes' grown-up selves. But in that same thought I have to remind myself  God gives seasons and changes for a reason. And as precious as this season is with three little beans that are so full of emotion and defiance and fresh love I know that the future will have just as many precious times. Sigh.

Children are such a gift aren't they?


the cuthberts said...


Becca said...

Beautiful. And I totally relate with the desire for my daughter to always feel safe, loved, known and understood...even if right now she's just nine months.

Sweet Mama K said...

I totally get this! Thanks for writing!