Thursday, June 20, 2013

on being pulled

I am currently smiling because just as I sat down to write this post my girl shouted out that I needed to come kill a bug IMMEDIATELY since she was sure it would bite her.

No, the reason I am smiling is not because I get a thrill from killing bugs. I am smiling at the irony of the moment. It was not a rare moment, it was very common. I often sit down to do something and am quickly called upon to do something else. The way I see it is this, I am a stay at home mom so taking care of my kiddos should fall first in line but that does not mean I do not feel pulled.

Right now I am itching to sit and devour blog after blog on creative journaling. I want to capture the mundane of my day on a little notecard. I want to write down quotes that make me happy or make me reflect on gratitude before complaining. Right now I want to start designing the dress I someday might make for my littlest girl...thank you Misha Lulu for inspiring me. Right now I want to pour over my cookbooks and pick up the ingredients for the one I just cannot stop thinking about (probably this one). Right now I want to go to Salvation Army and search for some summer dresses because I desire to live only in them when it is hot out. (anyone really love shorts out there?) Right now I want to go over to my friend Leah's house and talk about what God is teaching us and how we can spur one another on in our faith. Right now I want to write a children's book with illustrations and maybe even try to get it published. Right now I want to find a bathing suit that is not sold out (rey swimwear I am talking to you) that I can purchase for vacation next week. Right now I want to go to the library and grab every single book that capture my attention.

What I probably will do is care for my little beans, draw something exciting with them, go to Leah's house (fingers crossed she calls to invite me over:)) finish washing towels, pray, have lunch with my favorite (Nate) and lay outside in the sun while the kiddos dash about.

I think it is good to feel pulled. It reminds me that I am a complex woman (all women/men are) with many different areas of life I enjoy. I don't want the pulling to make me dissatisfied with a life that is so full and beautiful and enjoyable. I do want the pulling to make me savor seasons of life and the vast array of things I take delight in.

What things are pulling you right now?

Wednesday, June 12, 2013


 I love these kids.

They are awesome.

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Thursday, June 6, 2013

the big girl arm

Last night my oldest babe walked into our bedroom around 1:00 in the morning. Luckily I was having a sleepless night and the entrance of another awake human was a welcomed sight. My girl said she was coughing too much in her bed and then as if on autopilot she climbed into bed next to me. I pulled her close because I was glad for her companionship. I rubbed her arm, wanting her to know I was there and cared. I always find my emotions peak in the nighttime and I could hardly contain how big my heart was feeling for her as she laid there all cozy and warm. As I rubbed her arm I had to catch my breath. Her arm felt so big. I expected to feel the chubbiness of a little arm, the bones of a little arm, but instead it felt like I was rubbing my own arm...far too big to be on my baby girl. How could this be? How could her arm be so big when she was just so... little. But the truth is she's not so little she is in fact so big. She is growing and being shaped and in that dark moment of the early morning I wanted to wrap her up and let her know I would always make time to have these moments with her. I always want her to feel save, loved, known and understood. I can get all anxious when I think about the future and how moments, like last night, will soon be a story I tell to my babes' grown-up selves. But in that same thought I have to remind myself  God gives seasons and changes for a reason. And as precious as this season is with three little beans that are so full of emotion and defiance and fresh love I know that the future will have just as many precious times. Sigh.

Children are such a gift aren't they?