the big girl arm

Last night my oldest babe walked into our bedroom around 1:00 in the morning. Luckily I was having a sleepless night and the entrance of another awake human was a welcomed sight. My girl said she was coughing too much in her bed and then as if on autopilot she climbed into bed next to me. I pulled her close because I was glad for her companionship. I rubbed her arm, wanting her to know I was there and cared. I always find my emotions peak in the nighttime and I could hardly contain how big my heart was feeling for her as she laid there all cozy and warm. As I rubbed her arm I had to catch my breath. Her arm felt so big. I expected to feel the chubbiness of a little arm, the bones of a little arm, but instead it felt like I was rubbing my own arm...far too big to be on my baby girl. How could this be? How could her arm be so big when she was just so... little. But the truth is she's not so little she is in fact so big. She is growing and being shaped and in that dark moment of the early morning I wanted to wrap her up and let her know I would always make time to have these moments with her. I always want her to feel save, loved, known and understood. I can get all anxious when I think about the future and how moments, like last night, will soon be a story I tell to my babes' grown-up selves. But in that same thought I have to remind myself  God gives seasons and changes for a reason. And as precious as this season is with three little beans that are so full of emotion and defiance and fresh love I know that the future will have just as many precious times. Sigh.

Children are such a gift aren't they?

A peek into lately....

I have not been blogging because I have been doing this.....

 

 

 

....and you?

Colleen's Blog

I recently discovered one of my girlfriends keeps a blog. She told no one about it when she started and really used it only as an outlet for herself to express her thoughts and feelings. I luckily stumbled upon it a few months back and have found each post of hers thought provoking and or uplifting. A blog that can pack that double punch is a winner for me!

 I just finished reading her post on Mother's Day and I wanted to share it. She can write in ways I will never be able to. She is a smart writer, a powerful writer and a true writer. I think I can only claim true for my writings which is probably why I am so enamored with hers. I love words and sentences and feelings brought out in them. Isn't it amazing that mere words have such power? I so admire when someone has the gift of crafting words into powerful statements. Colleen is such a writer.

If you have a moment I strongly urge you to go check out her blog. She has no idea I am writing this post about her. If she did know I was posting this she probably would ask me not to since she has never been a woman grabbing for attention.  But today I want to grab some attention for her because she has a voice that should be heard because of its honesty and beauty.

http://barefootwithoutacause.blogspot.com/2013/05/mothers-day-hangover.html

 

I would love to hear your thoughts on it as well:) Enjoy!

Handwriting

I recently was reading the book, The Missing Ink by Philip Hensher. When I select books at the library to check out I have about five seconds to make my selection. The kids are often down in the children's book area with my husband while I make my wild dash to grab some reading material. I only have time to visit the new book section (non-fiction of course) to scanned the covers and their titles until one draws me in. The Missing Ink has a cover filled with inky words sprawled out across it. I grabbed the book and flipped it open as a read a few sentences at random selection.  I no longer have the book in my possession so I cannot directly quote from it but the portion that pushed me to the checkout line said something along the lines of, we now live in a society where we do not know what the writing of our friends looks like. The truth of that statement really struck something in me and I wanted to read more on the topic.

   Handwriting has been an object of interest to me since I was a very little girl. I can truthfully say I vividly remember watching Lindsay, a girl in my first grade class, write a sentence about Notre Dame. As I watched her handwriting I marveled at how her letters leaned to the left in a beautiful slant. She was the best drawer in the class as well and I knew somehow the two things were linked. I tried to copy her lettering but found it took too long and never end up having the same flair to it. As I think back through my years at school and the many friends I had I often remember handwriting along with the person. Kimberly: beautiful and rounded letters that all seemed perfectly spaced, Mindy: small scratchy lines that were hard to read, Marika: flared with a perfect balanced between over the top and just right....I also recall that my own handwriting was many times influence by those whose own writing I admired. Kimberly and I kept a journal together during our middle school years  that we would pass back and forth between us. I remember in later years looking at it and not being able to decipher who had written what since our handwriting had become identical.


  Handwriting is so personal, so revealing, and in my opinion a small bit of artwork one creates whenever they jot something down. I too, like Philip, miss the days when handwritten notes were the norm and I could imagine the writing of a friend when I had them in my mind. Please excuse me now, I am off to write-yes write-a note to someone.

 

How do you feel about handwriting? Do you share my sentiments on this subject or am I a loner in this area?

April 15th was a dark day.

 Yesterday my littlest babe got up abnormally early. We sat downstairs on the couch together as we stared out the window watching different people walk to the train for work. I browsed facebook. My breath stopped as I read that my friend's sweet baby girl had died. She was only four months old. I cried. I listened to music that reminded me where my eternal hope is. I asked God to comfort my friend as only he can.  Soon enough my other children woke up and we entered into our normal routine. As I sat down at my computer later in the day, still with tears streaming down my face for that precious baby girl, I was slapped with the news that the Boston Marathon had been bombed.

  My grief and sadness just seemed to grow each moment of the day yesterday. I watched every clip I could find of the event, every image posted online I studied and I just cried. What a time of loss. Loss for my friend Abby, loss for these people who had their bodies destroyed, loss for the runners who had their run turned into a nightmare....loss. And all I could think was this is why Jesus came to die.

 These moments are shocking and heartbreaking to us but they often remind me of how much we never know that is going on in the world that God sees. He sees every time a mother holds her baby as it dies in her arms, he sees every evil act committed against the innocent, he sees every single thing. Oh how much sorrow he must bear.  One day he will bring his perfect justice. Until then he brings comfort to those who turn to him as they mourn. He brings hope to the hopeless. He brought his only son to this earth to die so that we might not live forever in a place that is consumed by this pure evil that we had a front row viewing of yesterday. Thank you Jesus, thank you Father.

"So also you have sorrows now, but I will see you again and your hearts will rejoice, and no one will take your joy from you."-John 16:22

"Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need."- Hebrews 4:16

" This is the message we have heard from him and proclaim to you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all."-1 John 1:5

"I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world."-John 16:33

"He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of his beloved Son, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins."-Colossians 1:13-14

"The Lord will rescue me from every evil deed and bring me safely into his heavenly kingdom. To him be the glory forever and ever. Amen."-2 Timothy 4:18